It's Saturday, a favorite day of mine (aside from Sunday). Why not? I get to spend the whole day with my loving husband. He's off of work and we have 24-hour straight to be together.
I got up from bed at 9:30 in the morning. As usual, Tom (our sweet adopted cat) was there laying beside me. I went out from the bedroom, sat on the chair where my husband was sitting with the laptop, and spent a few minutes hugging each other. What a beautiful moment to start my day.
I was thinking of breakfast. My husband had been preparing breakfast for us two mornings ago. And I thought, this this morning, it's my time to show my care by preparing breakfast.
I took the can of hash corned beef which he got me days ago. I had a problem with breakfast lately. My once favorite pancake and french toast are no longer that appetizing to me. These past days, I didn't like eating breakfast that's sweet. Pancake and french toast needs syrup and I found it too sweet. So, most of the time I ended up eating either fried or scrambled eggs. The problem is, I have skin allergy with eggs (though it's just mild). My husband was feeling concerned about it, so he thought that he'd get me something that I can eat in the morning aside from eggs, potatoes, buttered saba banana or tuna sandwich. That's how he ended up getting cans of corned beef.
I cooked the corned beef as instructed in the can, toasted sliced breads and prepared the table. My husband likes orange juice for breakfast, so I poured a glass and put it on his side of the table. I went to the baby's room where he was busy sticking in painter's tape and told him that it's time to eat.
Breakfast time. Before we started praying for grace, I asked if I cooked the corned beef the right way. He said that he didn't know because he had not cooked nor eaten corned beef. I was shocked! I continued, "so you don't eat corned beef? I didn't know!" My emotion started to go crazy. All of a sudden, my trying to please my husband by making breakfast this time turned into ruin. I was so disappointed of myself. I stood up, blood boiling for myself and inquired what he wanted. He said that it's ok, he can try eating corned beef. I didn't listen to him. I went to the fridge and looked for something that he can eat. I wanted to make him something that he eats and asked what he wanted. He continued reassuring me that he can try. We went back to the table and he tasted the food. He didn't like it, and gently told me he can have fried egg. I grabbed the pan, turned on the stove, took the box of eggs out from the fridge. Lo and behold, the one and only egg left, slipped from my hand. Fell on the floor. Egg white and yolk are scattered.
What a failure I thought! With my high emotion boiling inside me, I started to wail. I felt so bad of failing to show my husband about my care for him by making breakfast. Very simple breakfast. With great love and concern for me weeping, he hugged and told me that "it's ok, it happens sometimes." I kept crying, feeling awful for myself. How could I break the one last egg left which he wanted to eat for breakfast?
But you know what? My husband has this kind of love and care that never fail to soothe everytime I am disturbed inside. He managed to calm me down from my crying and feeling bad. He made me feel that I am always loved despite what happened. It's no big deal at all. My feelings are more important to him than his breakfast. We hugged each other so tightly until our butts were numb (we were sitting on the floor with me leaning on the fridge).
He prayed for grace and saw tears in his eyes after we said "Amen." I stood up and put my arms around him. I asked what's the matter. My heart was so touched when he told me that it's just his emotions bursting out of his love, care and concern for me and our baby.
The corned beef and egg didn't work. However, we had one of the best breakfast together. He ate the cheese-filled coffee crumble cake, a toast with strawberry jam, a glass of milk, and half glass of orange juice. Well me, I ended up eating all of the corned beef, a toast and a cup of coffee that he made.
What happened on breakfast made me think about what pregnancy books and friends (who'd been pregnant) said about the highs and lows of emotion during pregnancy. I think this experience is one of those. Nonetheless, with my husband's love, we managed to pull it out. Our bond is stronger.
Even if I have to experience this emotional struggle from time to time, it's ok. I love being pregnant. I love to have the knowledge that I am carrying and nurturing inside me the most special "thing" exclusively shared and made by my husband and me...most of all, with the Creator.