As of this writing ((8:07 a.m.), I am spending time
with my Fi in the backyard. She's currently busy digging dirt,
a favorite activity outside. Now she's asking for water
to put into her bowl so she can make a mud cake.
Alright, here comes Mama.
I promised myself to take her outside the backyard
today. She really wanted to go out yesterday but I
didn't let her (them). Their playroom is a big mess and
I told the girls that they can only play in the backyard
after they clean up the playroom. Fi tried to clean up.
She did her best. But the mess was too much for her.
She tried twice. Her gesture touched my heart. While she
was putting away the plastic eggs in the basket, she yelled,
"Mama I am out of energy!" So cute and funny. I helped
her put away some, and later I got upset of being ignored.
I felt ignored because my older one did not listen to me. Been
telling her to pick up the mess since the other day.
Yesterday was not a very good day for the three of us. I have my
"monthly" visit and I tend to have a short circuit temper when
I have it. It was worse when I heard yelling, crying, and
fighting in the playroom. I tried to keep my cool and took
the young one away from the big sister. Evie followed us,
probably jealous or just wanted some attention and love. Fi
was not happy that Ate was there and Mama was holding her Ate. She kept
kicking Evie and yelled, "Go away from my Mama! This is my Mama!"
I was able to pacify both of them at some point and there was peace in
the house. They were back to being so loving and sweet to each other.
So back to the feeling of "feeling ignored." That's what I
felt after telling my daughter to clean up their playroom
many times and nothing was done. The other day
she started cleaning up. Later came out of the room. She said that
she got distracted and started playing again instead of finishing
her task. I let it go. But yesterday, my (negative) emotions
were just too high. After sweeping the living room twice,
it was crowded with clutter again. I wanted to evaporate.
Just for a few minutes at least. I decided to take a time out
in our bedroom. But the little one wanted to be with me.
She cried when I told her that Mama needs a time out.
She was screaming with tears in her eyes rolling down her
cheeks outside the bedroom. Mama locked the door.
I just needed a time out. I needed to breathe. I needed to cool down.
I needed to pray.
Her screams of a broken heart breaks my heart.
See, when you're a mother, your child's emotions are more
important than yours. You just have to let go of your negative
emotions and attend to your little one's.
It's a kind of strength that God built in us (moms);
designed exclusively for moms.
At the end of the day, all three of us were all reconciled.
I kept telling my older daughter that there are
times we have misunderstanding, we all make mistakes.
But even so, we still love each other and that
we will always come to reconciliation.
I love my daughters so much. We all moms do.
No amount or words can describe.
We have bad days sometimes.
But it doesn't mean life is cruel because of that one "bad day."
Our life is not defined by that "one bad day."
Bad days actually help us realize what a
beautiful life we have.
Beautiful because everyday we get to enjoy the ultimate
blessings that God gave us as moms...
Life is beautiful indeed.
Now, time to make a sand castle for my little one.